Different Strokes

I was having a conversation with a friend today that reminded me just how different every household/family is. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it got me to thinking about my own upbringing and what was deemed important and suitable. I started thinking back to when I was growing up and started contemplating if I was doing a good job bringing Deuce up in the same manner.

Now Deuce is only 2, so at this age he's easy to please. But what happens as he gets older? My husband and I had a conversation a while back about if Deuce would be able to have a car when he turned 16. I was against it he said he must! Now that we reside in an area where public transportation is not an option, I realize that a car at 16 will be something he will need. I don't like it, but it's a reality. Maybe by the time he's 16 the public transport system will have expanded but I seriously doubt it. But what about when he reaches 5 or 6? What will I be purchasing for my son at that age? Things are so different now.

Growing up, when Christmas was drawing near, my folks would hand my sister and I the BIG toy book from Toys 'R Us. (Some of you may not be old enough to remember those.) We were told to make a list and to be sure to place what we wanted the most at the top. Come Christmas morning we would receive 3 or 4 things off of our list. We enjoyed our gifts and cherished them. But even now as adults with our own families we still do one thing that was a standard growing up. We read the Christmas story. Mom & Dad never wanted us to forget why we really celebrated that day. Sure it was nice to get the presents, but we really needed to remember the ultimate gift, the birth of Jesus Christ.

I see how people spend and spend at the holidays. It makes me sad when I think about what that family may go without because of the extravagance of one day. What are we teaching our children? What good comes from giving them the grandest of current items? How do you top it? What do they have to look forward too? I remember being called spoiled when I was growing up. I hated it, I so wanted people to understand that I wasn't just "given" anything. That I earned it. Mom & Dad didn't play! We are so blessed to have parents that can/could give us nearly anything. But we're more blessed because they DIDN'T!!

I personally feel that part of the reason so many children have this sense of entitlement is because of what parents give. I'm sorry, but my son will appreciate everything that he's given. He will know that he is blessed and he will understand the value of it all. If he wants $100 shoes, he will have to work for them. Mama ain't no bank!! LOL But I want him to understand "favor," "grace," "blessed," and know how to be "humble!" A child that is handed EVERYTHING will not know how to appreciate ANYTHING!

Rich

So I'm sitting here catching up on one of my guilty pleasures "The Real Housewives of New Jersey." And I'm just ill. This episode revolves around Christmas. I'm sitting here trying to figure out how every other statement is about it being "baby Jesus'" birthday and then you turn around and buy these super extravagant gifts for your young children. In all that was going on not once was there a visit to a church, the Christmas story wasn't read, nothing!

What are the children gaining from this? What happens if the money suddenly goes away? Where is the foundation? I felt a little sad for these little ones. Now Caroline, she was on the right track. She had a special bracelet designed that symbolized each part of her family. All 3 children, she and her hubby now where the matching jewelry. Expensive, yes. But the symbolism and the reasons were pure, loving and focused on the foundation of their family. They will forever cherish those bracelets.

What do you think? Is it right for parents to give these luxurious gifts just because they can? Are children of privilege at a disadvantage?

You're Not Helping

Autism is one of a group of serious developmental problems called autism spectrum disorders (ASD) that appear in early childhood — usually before age 3. Though symptoms and severity vary, all autism disorders affect a child's ability to communicate and interact with others.
Children with autism generally have problems in three crucial areas of development — social interaction, language and behavior. But because autism symptoms vary greatly, two children with the same diagnosis may act quite differently and have strikingly different skills. In most cases, though, severe autism is marked by a complete inability to communicate or interact with other people. (www.mayoclinic.com)

Yesterday I decided to venture out and take Deuce to the indoor bounce house spot. How could I pass up an opportunity to let him just go nuts, only spend $3 AND get to be in the AC? So after his nap I put clean socks on him, picked up my sister and we headed to an afternoon of fun!

Fast forward to Deuce discovering the biggest bounce slide in the building. He was like a little magnet, drawn to it with such force there was no denying him access. As he climbed up that monster another child climbed into the area where the children landed after barrelling down the incredibly large slide. Figuring that he was about 8 I gently coaxed him out of the area. I didn't want him to get knocked out by another child and I didn't want Deuce to get hurt as he came down (the 8 year old wasn't exactly small). Unfortunately my interaction with this child didn't end. He decided to move to the entry area of the slide and proceeded to start jumping. Now he was completely blocking any other child from being able to play. So again, I gently coaxed him into moving. This time he took off running. Now I was ok with this reaction as were the 2 other parents that were watching their children. And then IT happened!

The 8 year old had gone and gotten his mother. She walks up to me and ask me did I tell her son to stop jumping. Knowing that I was completely right I told her yes I did. She then states that he has AUTISM and no one else had a problem with him jumping on the slide. She then wanted to know if he was hurting anyone. I told her that I ask him to move from one spot so that he wouldn't get hurt and from the other because he was preventing the other children from being able to access the slide. She again stated that he was AUTISTIC and then she walked away talking out loud about how dare people tell her son what to do.

Now the other parents who were observing this had looks of disbelief on their faces. One mother simply shook her head as she watched the woman walk away. The father on the other side of me shrugged and went back to watching his daughter. As for me I was furious! This woman had no ideal that I am a teacher and that I deal with autistic children on a daily basis. She just assumed that I had no clue as to what autism was. And while this made me angry, what made me furious was that she had just used her son's autism as an excuse for improper behavior. Not to mention she wasn't even in the area watching what he was doing. Anyone else see something wrong here?

After having a full day to think about what happened this is where my mind is:
I firmly believe that this mom is still in denial. She doesn't have a full understanding of what autism is. If she did, then she would know that autism is not something that you use as an excuse for poor behavior. It is so important that her son is still taught right from wrong. Perhaps she thinks that when people look at her son they will automatically know that he's autistic. Sorry ma'am, your son is autistic, he doesn't have Down's Syndrome. Physically he looks like every other little boy. She's probably over whelmed by what autism does to a family. It really isn't the best practice to not keep a watchful eye over your child when you know that he does things that may interfere with other children's fun.

Perhaps I'm being judgemental. I hope that I'm not appearing to be judging her. A dear friend has an autistic son. Her family had to dig deep within themselves to find peace and understanding. It wasn't an overnight thing. It took time, it took prayer, it took faith. But there was, is, and will always be an expectation of proper behavior in their household. I've been to their home many times, and while their kids do kid things, they have always corrected and redirected them. And this holds true even for their autistic child. See they know that you can't use autism as an excuse for not becoming a decent individual. Now the tactics may have to be changed but the lesson is still taught.

What do you think?

He does listen (sometimes)!

This is the lovely tote that I just purchased. Normally I wouldn't be so quick to show off a possession but I wanted to share what happened yesterday and it is directly related to this tote.

As a Chit-town girl, born & raised, I have an inbred affinity for Coach bags & purses. I remember when I finally saved up enough money to buy my first one. I headed over to Evergreen Plaza, picked out a cute black purse with a turn clasp and waited not so patiently for them to sear my initials onto the front. When I got home I filled out my registration card and handed it over to my mom so that she could mail it off for me. I couldn't wait to carry that purse to school on Monday! It was my first "grown-up" purchase.

Well since that first black purse, I've managed to save up enough money to purchase a few more (3 to be exact). So when I got the email from my sister saying that the Coach Outlet was having a 3 day online sale up to 70% off, I was super excited! I didn't care that they were discontinued styles. Who cares, it's Coach, they will always be classic! So when the day arrived to log in with the exclusive code, I--DIDN'T! Gasp! I had convinced myself that it just wasn't a wise purchase. But then the 2nd day we were at our coupon group and my sister pulled up the site to show to the other ladies. Then I saw the prices! They really were 70% off! So I thought, maybe I'll take a look when I get home. I--DIDN'T! But on the morning of the 3rd day, I decided to look. And there it was, this lovely extra large tote that would be perfect to carry all my stuff and diaper, wipes, snacks and juice boxes. Not to mention room for my kindle! So after a few minutes of thought I grab a credit card and bought it.

So my lovely tote arrived via Fed Ex yesterday morning. I quickly opened the box and just smiled. It was perfect. Even "Deuce" pointed at it and said "ooh!" Then it hit me, how do I explain this splurge to my hubby? Uh oh, I didn't think about that one. Normally that's the first thing I think of! So there I was hoping he wasn't going to be upset.

So my hubby gets home, early I should add because I had to be downtown at 6, and he's carrying a box. So in an imitation of our son I pointed at the box and say "what that?" And he decides to imitate our son as well and says "MINE!!" It really was quite comical. So he opens his box and pulls out new equipment for his DJing. It was something that he had been speaking of getting for a little while so I wasn't really surprised to see it. But at that moment I thought, hmmm, maybe I should pull out my box. So off to the bedroom I went and got my box. He again imitates our son and says "what that?" To which I replied, "MINE!" and then showed him the bag. And then the surprise comments. Him, "I thought you wanted a black purse?" Me, "I did want a black on black one, but the ones they had were more than I wanted to spend." Him, "it's nice and a good neutral color. How much did it cost me?" I told him and then showed him the tag with the ORIGINAL cost. He shrugs and says, "cool." (insert picture of me with chin on the floor!)

So not only did my hubby not have a "cow" but he acknowledged that he knew I wanted a new black bag and he complimented my alternative selection! We continued to chat a little about it and I discovered that he really does know about the value of a Coach bag. GASP!! He then went back to talking about his equipment purchase.

Amazing, he really does listen (sometimes)!

Missing My Diva

15 years, that's how long I sought it out. It was all around me growing up. Not in an overpowering, domineering way. But more subtle and subdued. I watched other ladies embrace it, wear it, live it. My Mother was one of them. They had that certain way of doing things. They were "Divas!" Not the Divas that girls today admire, but real "Divas." And each of them sparkled and shined in Crimson & Cream.

Yes I am referring to the ladies of Delta Sigma Theta. In the Spring of 2000, I and 9 other ladies crossed the sand into Delta Land! Words could never describe how I felt that day. Now, 6 years later I'm looking for my "Diva."

Now let's not confuse my "Diva" with my love for Delta. Delta is just a part of me. When I talk about my missing "Diva," I'm talking about my zest, my excited, my ME! Sometimes I think my "diva" started slipping away the moment I decided to move to Texas. I didn't know what I was doing. I just knew that I had been accepted to a school that would let me finish my Doctorate without loosing too much time and that over 100 others would be making the move at the same time. Or was it when I agreed to move to New Orleans and sold most of my furniture in preparation. My future hubby was happy but I still was unsure about living there. Perhaps it was when the decision was made to stay in Texas because the future hubby got a job promotion that relocated him to Houston. Sure I was happy about not going to New Orleans but now I had to find a job. I hadn't been looking because I had already secured an opportunity in New Orleans.

Ok, so maybe I'm grasping at straws. But where is my "Diva?" I'm trying to remember the last time I did something for myself. I'm constantly doing for my son, the hubby, my niece, my sister, my job, my organizations. I'm not complaining, I can always not do but I want to do for them. I just keep forgetting to do something just for me! Maybe I should run-a-way for a weekend. I don't know where I would go. I would feel guilty for going without my hubby. What if I picked something child like, then I would miss having my son with me.

Help!!! I really miss my "Diva!" Please, can you help me find her?

My Addiction

I have an addiction. Isn't that the first step, admitting that you have a problem? Although I don't think it's a "real" problem. How is saving money a problem if you're only buying items that you use?

The picture attached is a glimpse of what's in my linen closet. Everything was bought with a coupon and while on sale! Even the Bath &Body works soaps. I was so excited when I went to Target today and discovered that the Dove for Men products that were already on sale and on my list were actually marked with clearance tags! They even had bonus travel sizes attached to them. Oh how I giggled. That's when I really knew, I'm a money saving addict! 

Now don't get me confused with those extreme couponers! I'm not dumpster diving, buying extra papers, having people save coupons for me or any of those other crazy things that people do. I do have fun with it though! A group of us meet once a week to look over the sale papers and swap the coupons for items we know we won't use. Our host picks a theme and we bring the food & drink that matches. This week the theme is Asian. Yum! Next week we're going to start doing cooking lesson together. It's a really nice reprieve each week from the hustle and bustle of our daily life. 

So yes, I'm addicted! But you know what, my hubby has plenty of his favorite bath items and so do I. Our clothes will be fresh, fresh, fresh. My son can have yogurt as often as he likes. Yep, I think I'll hold on to this addiction.

My Love

This is my "Deuce" on the day he was born. It's hard to believe that it's been almost 2 years since  he arrived. And as we approach his 2nd birthday I can gladly say that he is my greatest love! Sorry hubby, your son has stolen my heart.

Isn't he the most precious thing? Come on, admit it, he was actually a cute baby. Now you know not every baby is cute. You've said it, "how precious," "how wonderful." To that baby that's not so "cute." It's ok. It takes time for our little darlings to recover from the treacherous journey of birth. But my "Deuce," he was a cute baby and is an even cuter toddler. That straight hair is now a crazy mop of curls that's getting harder and harder to maintain. He originally had a very curly afro on top that filled in on the sides after his first cut. Now it's crazy all over. It's been cut a second time but it's time for another one. His Dad and I don't agree on how often his mane needs taming, but fortunately I've been winning. :)

"Deuce" is my comic relief on a daily basis. Adult life is tough! His innocents is just the thing I need on my roughest of days. Watching him entertain himself allows me to feel that their is hope. He comes up with the most intriguing ways to play. As I type this he's playing with the couch pillows and cushions. I'm not sure what his ultimate goal is but he's happy so I am too! Today he consumed 2 yogurts when he rose from his nap. Combined with the one he had for breakfast we're going to be in for one nice diaper at some point. LOL But who am I to tell him he can't have yogurt? He asked for yogurt. It's fat free. It's way healthier than cookies!

Yep, I love my little guy. Even if he is throwing a tantrum at least twice a day on average. But isn't that what toddlers do? At least he knows how to act in public. Random people even tell me so. He's so great in restaurants. You won't see him throwing food on the floor, or screaming for no reason at all. He knows that MaMa don't play that. Yesterday at Daddy's Day Brunch he dropped a piece of fried yucca on the floor. He said, "Ma, oh no!" while pointing at where it lay. What toddler does that? I love it!

I will always do whatever I can to make sure my "Deuce" has what he needs and that when he earns them, the things that he wants. I pray that if we are blessed to expand our family that "Deuce" will love his sibling as much as I love him. I also hope that any future offspring are as great as "Deuce." He is one of a kind. I sometimes wonder how I got so lucky? Well, the "really reality" is that I did!

Desires

Why? Why can't I have what I want more than anything right now? Oh yeah that's right, I'm a responsible person. So realistically I can have what I want, but, I know that it's not the right time. I hate this feeling! I very rarely feel this way about anything! I can count how many times this emotion of "strong" desire has reared its ugly head. I feel like I'm walking around with an open wound and people are just pouring large chunks of sea salt into it and then rubbing it in real deep. UGH!!

So how do I continue to walk around, smile, be happy and live my life as if there's no little desire rambling around in my head? How does anyone do it? What strength do we rely on to help move us through our day to day dealings? What keeps that smile on our faces?

I have found myself doing a lot of praying and soul searching. And it seems that every view days I have to remind myself that everything happens in due time and that God is in control and not me. Beyond "this" particular desire, there's other "things" that occupy my mind and that MUST be addressed. Things that if not handled there's no way to have what I desire.

So thusly the "really reality" is that I can want all I want but, I have to follow what God's plan is for me. I know that being faithful and patient will allow me to go in the direction that I need to go. It's hard but "nobody said it would be easy." There will be difficult times and some soul wrenching moments as the time progresses. But I know that I can call on God and he will be my strength, my rod and my shield! He will let me know when I can have what I want. My job is to let him do his job.

Decisions

How do you make tough decisions? Do you marinate endlessly on them? Do you decide quickly? Maybe you're one of those that makes a pros and cons list.

For me, I usually pray about it, marinate a bit, and then decide. But the key word here is "usually!" Sometimes a decision is made for you by a sudden change in events or the actions of people. I admit, this has happened to me. I may have already decided to handle something in one way and then "BANG," something happens that either takes the decision completely out of my hands or cause me to instantly change my mind about how I'm going to handle it. So is this such a bad thing? Do these sudden changes in reality that cause a sudden change in our actions make us an "uncontrolled" person? I don't think so.

Let's analyze this. We sometimes are afforded the opportunity to look at a particular situation and spend time looking at what the end product will be based on the path we decide to take. This is particularly true when deciding on a vacation or a major purchase. We can sit down, calculate the cost, plan an itinerary, all those things. I like being able to "decide" like that. But what happens when decisions are taken away from you? What do you do when the actions of others, the events of a day, or just the plain facts of a situation completely take all decision making away from you?

The "really reality" is that no matter the situation, none of the outcomes are up to us anyway. Our paths have already been decided for us. You see, God decided a long time ago what ups and downs we were going to have to deal with. He already knows what decisions we're going to make and he has already decided what he's going to do about EVERYTHING! What we have to decide is are we willing to accept what God has planned for us? Now that is the though decision and that is the "really reality."

annoyed

I woke up this morning rather annoyed. At first I thought it was because my beagle, Sasha, had conveniently forgotten that it's Saturday and wanted to go out at 5:15am. Then I realized that it was because I'm missing something that's very important to me. My Friends!

Now don't get me wrong. I have friends here in Houston. But I'm missing those friends that I spent my "formidable" years with. We use to all be in relatively close proximity to each other, no more than a couple hours drive. Now we are all so spread out. Sadly this is not a new occurrence, we've had these miles between us for nearly 9 years. But I'm really, really missing them.

These are the friends that you knew would be down for whatever! The ones that call you at 3pm and you're hanging out with by 7pm. The ones that you can talk to for hours about nothing. The ones that you've been through the craziest of times with. I remember once we were just hanging at the apartment and about midnight someone said, hey let's go to Six Flags tomorrow. Sweet, we had season passes, at 7am we were loaded up and made the 2.5 hr drive to ATL for a day of screams! There's no impromptu outings now. In fact the last time we were ALL together was at my wedding almost 6 years ago.

Maybe I'm being nostalgic. I'm sure that we all have moments when we wish we could go back to the "good 'ole days." But is it really so wrong to want that sometimes. I don't know if my oldest friends follow this blog but if they do I want them to know I MISS YOU!  I hate that it takes an insane amount of time, planning, and hoping that family obligations don't conflict, in order for just a fraction of us to gather together. Maybe we need to place on our calendar a set time every couple of years for a reunion like some families do. Hmm, now there's an idea. Yeah, a time that doesn't revolve around football, bands, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Just a time for us to be us! Come on buddies, can we make that our "Really Reality?"

Thank You Oprah

Tomorrow will be the last Oprah Winfrey show. WOW! 25 years. I can't remember what it was like for Oprah not to be on TV. As a Chicago native I'm feeling quite nostalgic about this milestone in Miss Winfrey's life. I'm also feeling regretful that I never took the initiative to try to get the hottest ticket in town. But that's neither here nor there. As we prepare to say good-bye to the Oprah show let's reflect on what Oprah has meant to our communities.

Now, let me start by saying TO THOSE THAT HAVE SOMETHING NEGATIVE TO SAY ABOUT OPRAH, GO SIT ON AN EGG!! No she is not a perfect person, but she DOES have a good, giving, loving heart and spirit! No one with a soul can sit and watch these two shows being aired from the United Center and not tear up a little. The young ladies stating how Oprah has impacted them and made them believe that "they ARE enough!!" The Morehouse graduates that have come full circle because of Oprah's belief in scholastics. The 25 schools that Target is putting new libraries in because Oprah encouraged us to READ!! Or the the 25000 oak trees that are going to be planted in her honor from coast to coast. And yes, even Patti kicking off her shoes as she sang!

I can only pray that we don't ever forget the good that this one woman has done. You see, when it's done for the pure joy of doing it, it makes it that much sweeter. Let's be real, how many of you actually knew that she had set a personal goal of making sure 1000 black men would get an education at Morehouse? So far, 415 have. She's getting there. The encouragement of women, reminding them that they are powerful and strong. Standing up to those that said no! Celebrating our unsung heroes and reminding of us of OUR history!

So as we prepare to watch the last Oprah Show I would like to say this:

Dear Oprah,
Thank you for being you. Thank you for the tears and the laughs. Thank you for making me hate a little bit on the people who were in the audience at your favorite things shows. Thank you for making me know that it's ok to want more for myself. Thank you for helping me remember who I am and where I come from. Thanks for making me know that I can do it, all of it, any of it, or none of it! Thank you for helping me feel JUSTIFIED!! Thank you for showing me why I need to get to Australia sooner rather than later. Thanks for showing me how beautiful Miraval is (it's in my folks backyard and we've never been.) Thanks for the books! Thanks for loving children and mothering them in your own special way. Thanks for making me appreciate my BFF! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will miss you but I will be watching OWN!

Expectations

We go about our daily lives, working, spending time with family, paying bills, etc. But what really dictates why we do the things that we do? Who laid out these "expectations?"

My mom and I had a brief conversation this evening and we touched on the topic of expectations as it relates to education. We both acknowledged that attending college was considered an "expectation" and not an "option" as we were being raised. We also agreed that my sister and I were both raising our children with this same expectation.

Do we place on our kids our hopes and dreams. I would venture to say that to some extent we do. We want our offspring to be productive citizens. I would even say that if we don't have personal goals for our kids that we are doing them a disservice. Goals keep us focused, shouldn't it be the same for our children?

The "reality" is that I believe in my child just as I hope every parent believes in theirs. My folks believed in me. I thank God that they never gave up on me because I was not the most efficient person when it came to getting out of school. But now I have not only a Bachelor degree but a Doctorate as well. I don't know who was prouder that day, me for finishing, or my mom when she heard them say Dr. followed by my name.  I expect that my son will make me just as proud. I expect that he will be well educated and my hubby and I will instill in him the importance of that education. It will be an expectation. The plan will be that he will always know that a college degree is part of the natural progression of his life. And that is the "really reality" for him!

Change

I have a college friend that out of the blue was given the most life changing information ever. CANCER. For some reason that friend was on my mind today. I'm not sure why, I know she's doing well, living life to the fullest, enjoying her child, working and just being incredibly grateful to God that she gets to keep doing all these things because she's in REMISSION!! But yet for whatever reason, I just started thinking about her.

Perhaps it's the knowledge that at any given moment, my life could change. Realistically our lives change on a daily basis. We make plans, we start to execute them, and then POW!! All the plans go south. Now what? Do you start over? Do you give up? Do you change your plan? Which direction are you suppose to head in?

When life throws those unexpected things at you, do you quiver with fear or take a stand? I hope that I can follow the example of my friend. Was she afraid? Duh, of course. Who wouldn't be when you are given a diagnosis that has such an uncertain path. But she did take a stand! She fought. She leaned on those that had always been there for her. She loved her child. She talked to God daily!! I don't doubt that at some point she asked God "why me?" But isn't that just human nature? To ask God, why? 

The "really reality" is that CHANGE is NOT a negative! It may be a challenge but it's meant to make you stronger. Just like my friend fought back against her Cancer, we have to fight those changes that far to many look upon as devastating blows. Change is nothing but an adjustment. It's up to you as to how you handle it. If you roll over, wallow in your tears, and just give up, then expect to get what you have put in: NOTHING!! If you grab the bull by the horns, fight, except that there will be bumps and keep going, then you can expect: SUCCESS! And that my friends is "really reality."

Mixed Emotions

I found myself in a mix of emotions this morning. As I looked upon our 8th graders I thought "when did 14 turn into 30?" Overly done faces, 4 inch heels that made my ankles tremble, fishnets, etc. But that was not the majority. The majority looked adorable in their dress shirts and ties & their dresses and appropriate smaller heels. They were excited about being on display.

The "reality" is that these kids, these young adults, are our future. And that scares me! 355 8th graders sat in that gym with their smiling faces and their proud parental figures just snapping aways with their cameras. 355 totally different personalities. 355 different fates. I found myself proud and indifferent at the same time. Over 50 had maintained honor roll status this year, 4 had straight A's. The academically successful athletes were acknowledged, but half of them (mostly the boys) were kids that stay in trouble. The coaches were perfect in their choices of top honored athletes. If you could see the shock on some of the boys faces as less popular persons received the top honors from the coaches.

As the band played and several of "my" kids stood to do solos, I found myself tearing up a bit. "These are my good kids," is what I was thinking. "These are the ones that work hard, don't talk back, are sometimes so quiet that I forget they're in the room. Yeah, these are my good kids!" Then they started calling the names of each and every 8th grader and I found myself looking at some of them thinking, "Dear God, help them!"

So the "really reality" is that in spite of, I do care about each and every one of these kids. I will be so sad to see some of them go. Others I will gladly hold the door open and wave goodbye to for the last time. The ones that I know are ready I don't worry about to much. It's the ones that are ready but have all those "other" things impacting their worlds that I worry about. The ones that have been through incredible losses this year. The ones that think they don't have to be concerned with their academics because "athletics" is going to provide for them. The ones that I keep snacks around for. These are the ones that stay in my mind.

I've never taught 8th grade before. Before I always had the chance to see "my kids" roam the halls for at least another year as they matured and prepared for high school. There's such a finality to the close of this school year. I don't even know if I will be in this district come August. How will I know how "my kids" are? I NEED to know if my tough love did it's job! Even the ones that got on my last nerve every day, I want to know if they are doing alright. How do I deal with this mixed bag of emotions? How can you be so proud, so sad, and so worried all at once? This wasn't in the middle school teachers manual. Oh wait, there was no manual! This totally BITES (as the kids would say)! And to that I say, "really reality?" Really?

Giving credit

I'm a firm believer in giving credit where credit is due. So let me first start by saying I've started this blog because my cousin started one. As I was reading her's I got to thinking, hmm, maybe I should do that. I have a ton of things I could write, fuss, complain and advise about. LOL Fortunately, she was supportive of my craziness and encourage me to jump right in. So here I am in my brilliant, signature RED!!

I'm not sure what direction this adventure is heading in. What I do know is that on any given day my "reality" can be wonderful and in a matter of seconds flip to complete suckiness! (is that a word?) Sort of like my soon to be 2 year old's demeanor. That boy can go from being so sweet it makes your teeth hurt to the devil in a red cape with sharpened horns faster than you can blink an eye! I guess the terrible 2s have started early. SMH, shrug.

Anywho! My "really reality" is that I have to be bright eyed and bush tailed tomorrow as I will face a school full of parents. An awards ceremony where EVERY child is getting an award. Call me crazy but I thought you were suppose to earn those. What do children learn if you have to stretch to come up with something for them. No expectations of moments of pride tomorrow. So to that I say "really reality?" Really?