Missing My Diva

15 years, that's how long I sought it out. It was all around me growing up. Not in an overpowering, domineering way. But more subtle and subdued. I watched other ladies embrace it, wear it, live it. My Mother was one of them. They had that certain way of doing things. They were "Divas!" Not the Divas that girls today admire, but real "Divas." And each of them sparkled and shined in Crimson & Cream.

Yes I am referring to the ladies of Delta Sigma Theta. In the Spring of 2000, I and 9 other ladies crossed the sand into Delta Land! Words could never describe how I felt that day. Now, 6 years later I'm looking for my "Diva."

Now let's not confuse my "Diva" with my love for Delta. Delta is just a part of me. When I talk about my missing "Diva," I'm talking about my zest, my excited, my ME! Sometimes I think my "diva" started slipping away the moment I decided to move to Texas. I didn't know what I was doing. I just knew that I had been accepted to a school that would let me finish my Doctorate without loosing too much time and that over 100 others would be making the move at the same time. Or was it when I agreed to move to New Orleans and sold most of my furniture in preparation. My future hubby was happy but I still was unsure about living there. Perhaps it was when the decision was made to stay in Texas because the future hubby got a job promotion that relocated him to Houston. Sure I was happy about not going to New Orleans but now I had to find a job. I hadn't been looking because I had already secured an opportunity in New Orleans.

Ok, so maybe I'm grasping at straws. But where is my "Diva?" I'm trying to remember the last time I did something for myself. I'm constantly doing for my son, the hubby, my niece, my sister, my job, my organizations. I'm not complaining, I can always not do but I want to do for them. I just keep forgetting to do something just for me! Maybe I should run-a-way for a weekend. I don't know where I would go. I would feel guilty for going without my hubby. What if I picked something child like, then I would miss having my son with me.

Help!!! I really miss my "Diva!" Please, can you help me find her?