My Love

This is my "Deuce" on the day he was born. It's hard to believe that it's been almost 2 years since  he arrived. And as we approach his 2nd birthday I can gladly say that he is my greatest love! Sorry hubby, your son has stolen my heart.

Isn't he the most precious thing? Come on, admit it, he was actually a cute baby. Now you know not every baby is cute. You've said it, "how precious," "how wonderful." To that baby that's not so "cute." It's ok. It takes time for our little darlings to recover from the treacherous journey of birth. But my "Deuce," he was a cute baby and is an even cuter toddler. That straight hair is now a crazy mop of curls that's getting harder and harder to maintain. He originally had a very curly afro on top that filled in on the sides after his first cut. Now it's crazy all over. It's been cut a second time but it's time for another one. His Dad and I don't agree on how often his mane needs taming, but fortunately I've been winning. :)

"Deuce" is my comic relief on a daily basis. Adult life is tough! His innocents is just the thing I need on my roughest of days. Watching him entertain himself allows me to feel that their is hope. He comes up with the most intriguing ways to play. As I type this he's playing with the couch pillows and cushions. I'm not sure what his ultimate goal is but he's happy so I am too! Today he consumed 2 yogurts when he rose from his nap. Combined with the one he had for breakfast we're going to be in for one nice diaper at some point. LOL But who am I to tell him he can't have yogurt? He asked for yogurt. It's fat free. It's way healthier than cookies!

Yep, I love my little guy. Even if he is throwing a tantrum at least twice a day on average. But isn't that what toddlers do? At least he knows how to act in public. Random people even tell me so. He's so great in restaurants. You won't see him throwing food on the floor, or screaming for no reason at all. He knows that MaMa don't play that. Yesterday at Daddy's Day Brunch he dropped a piece of fried yucca on the floor. He said, "Ma, oh no!" while pointing at where it lay. What toddler does that? I love it!

I will always do whatever I can to make sure my "Deuce" has what he needs and that when he earns them, the things that he wants. I pray that if we are blessed to expand our family that "Deuce" will love his sibling as much as I love him. I also hope that any future offspring are as great as "Deuce." He is one of a kind. I sometimes wonder how I got so lucky? Well, the "really reality" is that I did!

Desires

Why? Why can't I have what I want more than anything right now? Oh yeah that's right, I'm a responsible person. So realistically I can have what I want, but, I know that it's not the right time. I hate this feeling! I very rarely feel this way about anything! I can count how many times this emotion of "strong" desire has reared its ugly head. I feel like I'm walking around with an open wound and people are just pouring large chunks of sea salt into it and then rubbing it in real deep. UGH!!

So how do I continue to walk around, smile, be happy and live my life as if there's no little desire rambling around in my head? How does anyone do it? What strength do we rely on to help move us through our day to day dealings? What keeps that smile on our faces?

I have found myself doing a lot of praying and soul searching. And it seems that every view days I have to remind myself that everything happens in due time and that God is in control and not me. Beyond "this" particular desire, there's other "things" that occupy my mind and that MUST be addressed. Things that if not handled there's no way to have what I desire.

So thusly the "really reality" is that I can want all I want but, I have to follow what God's plan is for me. I know that being faithful and patient will allow me to go in the direction that I need to go. It's hard but "nobody said it would be easy." There will be difficult times and some soul wrenching moments as the time progresses. But I know that I can call on God and he will be my strength, my rod and my shield! He will let me know when I can have what I want. My job is to let him do his job.