Why? Why can't I have what I want more than anything right now? Oh yeah that's right, I'm a responsible person. So realistically I can have what I want, but, I know that it's not the right time. I hate this feeling! I very rarely feel this way about anything! I can count how many times this emotion of "strong" desire has reared its ugly head. I feel like I'm walking around with an open wound and people are just pouring large chunks of sea salt into it and then rubbing it in real deep. UGH!!
So how do I continue to walk around, smile, be happy and live my life as if there's no little desire rambling around in my head? How does anyone do it? What strength do we rely on to help move us through our day to day dealings? What keeps that smile on our faces?
I have found myself doing a lot of praying and soul searching. And it seems that every view days I have to remind myself that everything happens in due time and that God is in control and not me. Beyond "this" particular desire, there's other "things" that occupy my mind and that MUST be addressed. Things that if not handled there's no way to have what I desire.
So thusly the "really reality" is that I can want all I want but, I have to follow what God's plan is for me. I know that being faithful and patient will allow me to go in the direction that I need to go. It's hard but "nobody said it would be easy." There will be difficult times and some soul wrenching moments as the time progresses. But I know that I can call on God and he will be my strength, my rod and my shield! He will let me know when I can have what I want. My job is to let him do his job.